By Briana Keenan
Correspondent
I received the news in the College’s student center while with my friend after one of our Circle K meetings. Liam Payne, 31, found dead in Buenos Aires after falling out of his 3rd floor hotel window.
I was frustratingly staring at my laptop, trying to figure out my schedule for the spring semester, when all of a sudden, my friend gasped while looking at their phone. Confused, I asked if it was their final grade that they were anxiously awaiting, and when they flipped their phone screen, it was the news announcing the singer’s death.
For the next however many minutes, my friend and I did a deep dive into what news outlets were posting, especially since Twitter was where they originally found it and showed it to me first. After more reputable sources like CNN, Reuters and NBC reported on it, we knew that it was not a rumor.
I was in shock. I want to say that I wasn’t expecting it, but at the same time, I can see why the timing could have played out the way it did considering the recent allegations against him. On my TikTok For You Page, fans and his former girlfriend, Maya Henry, have come out alleging many things against the singer.
Henry, Payne’s partner from 2019-2022, recently alleged that Payne had been “obsessively contacting her” and even went as far to contact her mother and other people close to her. She also released a book in May called “Looking Forward,” which is inspired by true events of her life.
In the book, the main character, Mallory, faces verbal and domestic abuse from her partner, Oliver, and after he finds out that she is pregnant, he threatens to end their relationship if Mallory does not have an abortion.
Many fans believe that this book is about Henry’s relationship with Payne.
In terms of the fan allegations, one woman named Ashley, also known as @itsashleyyann on Tik Tok, posted a video on Oct. 6 alleging that Payne asked her for sexually explicit videos and photos while he was in the band and she was a fan. The video has since been deleted from her account, but the fan also claimed that she sent him the explicit content anyway as a naive fan who was getting attention from one of her favorite celebrities.
This context is extremely important, and it is even more so as the news stories keep developing. As a “One Direction kid,” I was a big fan of theirs growing up and still listen to their old albums as well as the members’ newer, solo ones. I even have a sticker of all five of them on my laptop case. However, knowing that survivors are coming out and sharing their stories, I cannot say that I had Payne’s full trust anymore.
How can a singer that myself and many of my other peers admired when we were younger end up being an alleged sexual predator and domestic abuser? He is no exception to the rule of “believing survivors, not predators.” How can I side with him when he is alleged of doing these things?
I, as well as many other fans on social media, have realized that Payne was not the teenager he was in One Direction; he was grown and had done a lot since then. He was no longer the member that was “afraid of spoons,” holding the red microphone or goofing off with the other four members during interviews.
Instead, he is Liam Payne, alleged sexual predator.
This is why I feel conflicted as I sit here and think about my feelings on Payne’s death. I mourn for his loved ones, especially his young son, and for the fans that looked up to him for several years in One Direction and beyond. But on the other side, I wonder what the manner of his death was, and if it was a way for him to “escape” the allegations.
I don’t mean to come across as inconsiderate or disrespectful when I make this latter point. Maybe he truly did feel guilty, or maybe he was frustrated that the truth was coming out.
However, I cannot morally support him when there have been several survivors coming forward and alleging that he has committed physical, verbal and domestic abuse against them. Especially when Henry is eight years younger than him, and Ashley was a teenager when she sent the explicit content.
In any other scenario, the situation would probably be seen more as black and white; the perpetrator is a horrible person for doing these things to several women. In this case, Payne being a celebrity complicates things, and some fans that have been inspired by him since they were young children are still taking his side.
My heart mourns for Payne, and 7-year-old me is probably in more shock than me today. The tributes that Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson posted on Instagram break my heart. Although many fans, including me, can feel their ten-year-old selves crying, Payne’s death should not lead us to sugarcoat or overlook the pain he has put others through.
