By Parisa Burton
Opinions Editor
I still remember it vividly. The day I decided to dismiss my doubts and take on a new chapter of my college life – studying abroad. It was my second semester of sophomore year. If I were asked to describe this period of my life, I would say I was completely lost and felt stuck in my environment, longing to break free and spread my wings in a way I never have before.
Little did I know at the time that living in Milan for four months during the fall semester of my junior year would completely change my life and shape me into the person I am today. Submitting my application and receiving my acceptance letter was the scariest yet most exciting moment for me. I had no idea what to expect. My mind was filled with doubts and what-if scenarios but I ultimately knew this course of action would help me discover a new version of myself.
The months leading up to my departure felt fragmented. I didn’t truly process the fact that I would be living on another continent for four months. I bottled up my emotions and avoided thinking about this reality until it hit me. Not only was I leaving my life behind, I was doing it alone. I was the only student from the College participating in this program this semester, despite it being marketed to students on the Global Engagement website.
Before I knew it, I had 24 hours under my belt before my everyday routine would completely change. Being the person I am, I procrastinated packing my suitcases until the day before. I didn’t know exactly what to pack — there was no way of fitting my entire life into two suitcases and a personal item. I packed everything I could possibly need, cramming my bags to the brim. But when my dad told me to split it in half because there was no way I could manage that load on my own, I completely broke down. In that moment, I released the flood of emotions that I had built up for months, finally allowing myself to feel everything at once.
To make everything worse, I developed some sort of illness just days before my departure, experiencing non-stop coughing and a pounding headache, among other symptoms. The nine-hour plane ride felt like a battle between holding my breath or annoying every other passenger with incessant coughing. I wanted to escape my own body and tell myself to shut up.
What felt like a million hours later, I finally arrived at Milan Malpensa Airport. I felt completely depleted and mustered the energy to look for my step-by-step instructions on what to do next in my email. I had to wait for three other girls to arrive, so I popped a few painkillers and waited patiently.
I recognized them immediately by their clothing; they all looked very American and around my age. We had to take a one-hour scheduled ride together to our new apartment. As much as I wanted to socialize with my new peers, my low energy and the pain I was feeling made it impossible. I tried my best to hold back my coughs, but I couldn’t, and I already felt like they hated me. All I wanted to do at that moment was go home.
Looking back, the first few miserable days of my experience were so insignificant compared to the overall journey. When I say I found myself in Milan, I mean it wholeheartedly.
I didn’t connect with the people living with me the way I hoped I would, but I did find a girl that would soon become my best friend living on the floor above me. I met her during the international school’s orientation. We were both by ourselves among our program group, and I took that opportunity to strike up a conversation with her. After this initial meeting, we spent every single day together.
It felt so refreshing to finally have a connection with someone in a new environment. The most amazing thing about it was there was no period of awkwardness, we immediately bonded and became inseparable. This was something I’d never experienced before with a friend, as it usually takes me a while to open up to new people.
We were miraculously placed in the same two-week required Italian language course, before our actual classes began. We spent this time figuring out the public transportation system together, stifling our laughter in class and exploring the shopping gems that the fashion capital of the world had to offer after school.
I spent every waking moment escaping from my “dorm” room to head upstairs, where we planned trips and activities to do together or just relaxed in her space. She introduced me to her roommate, and I became the unofficial third roommate. The three of us created countless memories together.
I had the opportunity to be a part of diverse classrooms, composed of people from all over the world. The courses were taught in English by Italian professors, and the assignments were group-based, encouraging us to learn about each other’s cultural backgrounds and unique perspectives. I took two journalism classes for my minor, and two marketing courses for my major.
The course work was manageable, with little to no homework, as the professors understood the significance of travel during study abroad and didn't want to burden the experience. Solo travel was encouraged, but my program also offered several field trips, including a visit to Lake Como, a two-day trip to Florence and Verona and other Milan-based attractions.
“It’s hard to believe you guys just met two months ago,” my roommate said to me during one of the group field trips as she witnessed us uncontrollably laughing together while waiting for the train. I couldn’t believe it either, and I also realized that in just two more months, we wouldn’t be able to spend every day together. The entire experience felt bittersweet.
Our program advisors warned us all from the beginning that the experience would fly by, but I didn’t realize just how quickly it would go or how important it was to absorb everything and anything before it was stripped away.
My weekends were filled with spontaneous last-minute trips to different parts of Italy and other European destinations, as well as restful days in Milan, where I explored local flea markets, tried new restaurants and enjoyed the nightlife with my new best friend.
As an American living abroad, I certainly did experience the typical phases of cultural adaptation: the honeymoon phase, cultural shock, homesickness, acceptance and excitement for returning home.
However, what resonated most with me was the exhilarating sense of freedom I felt for the first time in my life. Everyday felt like a new adventure, and I had almost no responsibilities to hold me back. It was a sweet escape from reality and one that I will cherish forever.
The reverse cultural shock I experienced when returning home is something that I will never forget. I felt lost once again and missed the connections I met abroad who were now resuming their lives in different states. It took me a while to shake this feeling and accept that I could never relive those experiences, and only my memories could keep me connected to this chapter of my life.
Above all, I am so grateful that my experience led me to find genuine happiness, and forced me outside of my comfort zone. It instilled in me a newfound sense of independence and confidence to conquer uncomfortable situations and make the most of them.
I am fortunate to have held onto my friendship and to have visited my best friend six months later in her home state of Colorado. I got to experience her world, creating new memories together and spending hours reliving our old memories, laughing about the experiences we shared.
Studying abroad taught me to appreciate life for everything it has to offer and to not take anything for granted. Freshman year, I could have never imagined myself moving to a new country completely ALONE.
However, I learned that staying in my comfort zone was holding me back from unlocking my full potential. I felt stuck, and took the initiative to branch out, which turned out to be the single best decision I could have made for myself.
If you are considering whether to study abroad, my advice is to avoid dwelling on the what-ifs. Your friends and family will still be here when you get back, but the connections and experiences you create when studying abroad are unique and irreplaceable opportunities that you will hold in your heart forever. While my weekends no longer consist of spontaneous trips to places like Switzerland, I am richer in experiences than I’ve ever been and will carry that with me forever.
