By Johnanthony Alaimo
Columnist
Oh, Justin, what are we going to do with you? I guess, put you in jail. The singer/irresponsible Canadian was arrested in the early morning hours of Thursday, Jan. 23, in Miami after being accused of driving under the influence and drag racing. Apparently, Bieber told police that he had a beer, pot and a prescription drug. Sounds like a great dinner. Of course, Bieber had his mugshot taken. I can’t wait for that image to pop up on souvenir mugs, shirts and maybe even a cute tote. The singer’s management team reportedly has been begging Biebs to go to rehab as his ego is getting out of control. Well, maybe he was on his way to rehab that day and just wanted to arrive in style.
Hashtags on Twitter calling for Bieber’s release quickly sprung up, one of which is “#FreeJustinBieber.” Confiscate all nail filers from pre-teen girls now as a precaution. Bieber’s bail was set at $2,500, which is about how much his crushed-up tissue would sell for on eBay.
Fans of The Wanted (anyone? anyone?) will be disappointed to hear that the band is taking a break from one another after they wrap up their upcoming tour. I’m sorry, boys, but you’re not fooling anyone. This is not a “break,” this is goodbye. The Wanted haven’t exactly been “successful.” Singing a song in a movie where Ray Romano voices a woolly mammoth is not exactly making it to the top. If any of you are lucky, maybe you can sneak into One Direction. Hide inside Harry’s hair.
Lindsay Lohan has announced she is making a new film! What’s even funnier is that she wants Jessica Lange of “American Horror Story” fame to co-star with her in it. Excuse me? Jessica Lange is a talented actress that surrounds herself with only the best talent, minotaurs and axe-wielding psychopaths and you, Ms. Lohan, do not fit any of those bills. Good luck on attempting to get people to pay to see you act, though!
