As we bid adieu to the waning days of summer, there’s no doubt that we’ll miss the endless freedom, sunkissed skin, late night hoorahs and the lightness of a fresh, colorful summer wardrobe. But the record heat of July may have clouded some of fashion’s better judgment. As we dump the sand out of our suitcases to make room for fall cardigans and jeans, we also gratefully kiss goodbye some of summer’s fashion faux pas.
1. Cork wedges
With a little height and ease of walking, wedges are definitely a boardwalk blessing. But when every heel is composed of cork, we start to miss the stiletto. While cork wedges are a summer staple, it’s also clunky, chunky and thick and doesn’t fulfill much of a woman’s desire for tiny feet. Sometimes a cork just better belongs on top of a wine bottle.
2. Hair feathers
Hair feathers are a bump up from the fabulously famous hair wraps of the ’90s. Yes, they are ethereal and carefree, but believe it or not, feathers don’t grow from the scalps of humans. Until we can confidently jump off any height singing R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly” without wanting a giant thud before the next lyric, let’s keep feathers on earrings and headbands and not hot glued into our hair.
3. Frayed T-shirts
The summer climate is more than an excuse to show a little skin. Lift the hemlines. Bare a bikini, midriff is allowed. Shirts that look like they made their way through a lawnmower — not so much. This teeny-bopper trend that made its way across the Jersey boardwalks this summer could have used a good seamstress. Hopefully next year there will be more clean-cut crop tops and less messy dressing.
4. The sheer shopper
How many times have you seen that girl shopping in Target who clearly came from the beach? She has on her see-through cover-up dress and matching bikini, confidently pushing her cart while getting excited about the possibility of the male in aisle five checking out her butt. The sheer cover-up is not an outfit, unless you’re aiming for the modest stripper look.
5. The male capri
To all the males this past summer who wore shorts covering your knees — nothing is more irking than a handsome guy ruined by awkwardly long shorts. Are you trying out for a Young Jeezy music video, or are your knees cold? Shorts that fall just above the knee, please.
6. The jort peep show
Homemade high-waisted denim shorts went from trendy in 2011 to a staple in 2012. It’s a great way to recycle jeans, but not when you cut them so short your cheeks slip out. Cheeky bottoms at the beach: yes. Cheeky bottoms at Starbucks: no, you slutty hipster, you.
Although the summer sun is cooling, summer style is still in full swing. Enjoy prancing around in minimalistic clothing while the heat still bathes campus. Keep those tags on your sweater and get every last use out of that bikini top by day/bandeau by night. But please be kind and cover your behind.
