The Signal

Serving the College since 1885

Wednesday December 25th

National Lampoon Sports Minute, Or So

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By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy and Chris Strait

Randy Winn has signed a two million dollar deal with the Yankees. Which is perfect since they usually pay two million dollars per win.

Delonte West’s weapons trial was postponed until April 26. Delonte West has a WAY better lawyer than Gilbert Arenas.

The Golden State Warriors have called up Coby Karl from the D-League. Against his will.

Bloomberg BusinessWeek has named Tiger Woods the most powerful athlete in the world. Of course, he slept his way to the top.

And Ken Griffey Jr. is reportedly in the best shape of his career. So he’s in terrible shape.




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