I don't ever want to forget feeling what I feel now, not unless the mindset of people has changed and our world has ceased to be a terrible place. It is 2007, which means (at least) 2,007 years of recorded human history, and still our world is a shit hole.
People still don't care about each other. They care only about money, work or, as I witness all the time, school. There are a few people out there who actually care for our world and fellow human beings, but most people remain in a capitalist mindset and are consumed with only what is going on in their lives.
The only things we have are our planet and each other; if these things aren't worth fighting for, what is? I cannot think of anything more important than the happiness of another person and the safety of the land from which we get our water, food and shelter.
There were 33 reported deaths at Virginia Tech, all by one shooter. I bet this person went unnoticed throughout the course of the semester, and if people did notice something "off" with him, they did not care to help him or talk to him. I can only believe that he had some huge, burning and soul-crushing hatred to shoot so many people and ruin those lives (as well as the lives of their friends and families). My heart goes out to all of them.
Immediately after the shootings, according to optonline.net, the most searched phrase was "Virginia Tech." The second was "Virginia whitepages." Someone please tell me why it takes a catastrophe like this for so many people to find fellow humans they once cared for (because obviously they had no phone numbers if they had to look in the white pages)? Why does it take death to bring people together? People wait for misery to come, like at funerals. Something awful always has to happen for people to actually take time out of their lives to sincerely care.
So 2,007 years of a human race that still has not sorted out its priorities, and I am supposed to believe in a god? It sure would be nice right now to think there was someone out there who was controlling us and making all this crap happen for a reason. But 2,007 years? I cannot believe it's possible to create a world and fill it with confused souls who create (or at least don't help) starvation, poverty, wars and disease.
Sure, George Carlin can make it sound funny, and that's good, but it's not truly funny. It's sustained tragedy. Maybe if people stopped believing that someone was "watching over" or controlling this, then they would live actively themselves.
I'm so sad. I want people to change. I need people to get a conscience. A month of focusing on little more than global warming, a play about Karl Marx and these shootings has broken me. I have almost lost hope in humankind. What can I do?
I will become more involved in this mission to end global warming. I will try consciously to be nicer to everyone I come in contact with. I read a quote recently that goes something like this: "Be nice to everyone you meet, because you never know what battles they are fighting." It makes sense. Everyone deserves respect and kindness. Everyone. Life is unfair because there are too many factors to control, but the part I can control should be fair.
I need to realize and remember that even though I am happy, there are others who are miserable and their misery needs to be taken away.
Finally, I'm convinced I need to do something helpful with my life. My life, though it's mine, is not about me. It never was.
I think I'm awake. Now I can try to wake others up too.
