"I know you're diverse here. There just isn't any diversity in this room ... or at my last two shows. They're all busy shooting photographs for the school's brochure."
Steve Hofstetter had about 90 students laughing during his third appearance on campus as he joked about the College, Facebook, irony and intelligence levels last Thursday night, teasing students about their social lives.
"I actually don't get into video games much because I'm attracted to women," Hofstetter said.
No topic was safe from Hofstetter as he poked fun at the world: "I love Canadian TV because their quality has gotten so much better ever since they added that second camera."
Indiana recently voted on taking part in Daylight Savings Time for the first time in years: "When I got off the plane in Indiana my watch said one thing and my phone said another; they've never fought before. I called the National Time Services and asked what time it was. She said, 'I have no idea.'" Apparently Indiana was also named the No. 1 terror target in America, to which Hofstetter said, "To coordinate a massive terror strike, you'd have to know what time it is."
Hofstetter even suggested better ways to keep people off drugs. His "Truth" commercial would be, "One day you're gonna want to smoke and it's gonna be real fuckin' cold. The Truth." Another advertisement Hofstetter suggested was, "Two words: Ugly Chicks. That's my anti-drug."
Sororities Theta Phi Alpha and Delta Zeta hosted Hofstetter along with Phil Mazo and Denis Donohue in Forcina Hall. Mazo and Donohue, who are currently on tour with Hofstetter, opened the show and got the attention of the crowd.
Mazo opened the show with a joke about how he was pulled over by a police officer after tailgating an Escalade for an hour-and-a-half. Mazo explained, "Officer, I'm just trying to watch the movie."
Donohue got the audience ready for Hofstetter as he touched base on what his childhood was like.
"(My mom's) got Jesus, Mary and Joseph on her dashboard but babies playing 'wee' in the back of the car (not in a car seat)," Donohue said. "He can't be everywhere, that's all I'm sayin'."
Donohue then talked about how his Italian mother "would take the spoon right out of the sauce ... I felt like a chooch 'cause I'd go to school with little pink circles all over me. The kids would see it and ask, 'Italian mother?' ... One kid had green circles on him ... pesto."
Lindsay Fisk and Karen Montecuollo of Theta Phi Alpha and Leanne Healy of Delta Zeta organized the event.
"We were happy to fill half of Forcina," Healy said. Fisk added, "All three (of the comedians) were really funny; we're really happy about (the success of the show)."
Hofstetter's popularity as a comedian has flourished in the last few years. Most college students know him through his Facebook profile, which was recently closed off to new friends because he reached the 500,000 person plateau.
He rewards his Facebook friends by giving out free shows to the Colleges at which he has the most friends.
Besides having his own column in Sports Illustrated, Hofstetter is also involved in a sports column known as "National Lampoon Sports Minute (or so)," which is featured in The Signal each week.
At the show, Hofstetter sold his CDs, "Taste like Bliss" and 'Cure for the Cable Guy," along with T-shirts that say "Add Me," alluding to Facebook and MySpace.
Hofstetter, Mazo and Donohue have done many shows together so far. "I like it a lot; it's kind of nice to be able to hang out after the show and spend some time with people," Hofstetter said. "It works out really well."
The show was laid back and enjoyable for everyone as each guy talked about things that students could relate to, like poking people on Facebook. Even off the stage, the guys are carefree and fun. After being asked if the comedians want to leave the audience with a message, Mazo put it best: "I'd like (the audience) to come away with the message that 'I'd like to sleep with that guy.'"
