The Signal is the dummest newspaper around! All you do is contribute to the fear-mongering of the American media! You have caused great upsetment! Like, I work for some student organization, and instead of blowing sunshine up my ass, you made something seem like it wasn't all peaches and rainbows and whatever. What's that all about? You guys should, like, advance humanity and freedom & the like. Cause that's what reporting the news is all about. At the very least, all I'm looking for is updates on campus safety.
You smell!
signed,
the arbiter of truth!
