It is painful to look back on that 10-year span of my life known as the 90s. But, despite the ludicrous fashion choices, the first decade I can remember from start to finish wasn't so bad. VH1 may love the 80s, but I love the 90s.
I will even shout it from the rooftops or with the gigantic megaphone left over from 80s One-Hit-Wonder Toni Basil: "I LOVE THE 90s."
At first recollection, you think about all of the neon, t-shirts that were heat sensitive and oversized everything. After the shame of monstrous buttons sewn onto leggings passes, the true radness of the 90s will pole-vault to the apex of your nostalgia. More likely than not, "Saved By the Bell" is responsible for this reaction.
There were five things in the 90s that controlled my wardrobe, toy collection and general way of life - Joey, Donny, Danny, Jordan and Jonathan. The New Kids on the Block dominated the late 80s and early 90s, when Justin and J.C. were still squeaking their voices on the Mickey Mouse Club.
I remember going to see NKOTB for this first time. My ears were ringing and I convinced myself I was going deaf. My father swore he would never take me to another concert again.
It was a time when you didn't have to be embarrassed about dressing like a total jerk-off - everyone did, so who cared who looked worse? You could also listen to R. Kelly without shame.
"Wayne's World" was a party time and it was far beyond excellent. Finally, someone made a film glorifying the lives of "those" guys at Local Bar, USA and the landscapers who cut my grandma's lawn. What is there not to love about eating doughnuts served by Al Bundy and constant male hair-flicking? This movie changed my life. After seeing "Wayne's World," I vowed to stage a Laverne and Shirley reenactment before I die.
Speaking of death, how about the "November Rain" video? What does the chick die from anyway? Several theories have been circulating (i.e. the cake was poisoned) but no one can find the answer because the damn short story it is based on is no where to be found. Who would want to read something like that to find out the answer, anyway?
You can put your hand down now.
Uncle Jesse made The Beach Boys cool again. "Full House" was amazing on so many levels, but Jesse really brought the whole show together. I could really relate to him. Didn't your heart break just knowing that he was too cool for the family? Or how about on his wedding day when he went sky diving and became stuck in the back of a tomato truck? Oh, Uncle Jesse!
There is so much to love about the 90s that I can't fit it all in one column. This requires a part two. I haven't even touched on Boyz to Men, Salt 'N Pepa, let alone the transformation of Janet Jackson and the Madonna boom. What about grunge and all that flannel? Now you have no choice but to read my column next week.
